Proverbs 24:12

Proverbs 24:12 Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act.

You see, I had expected to go to Ethiopia the first time for an adventure in which I fed a few people in need, loved a few children without parents, and helped a friend bring home her long awaited child. I had expected to be on an adventure that would teach me, grow me, and be written off as another cool trip. But that is not what happened. Not even close.

God opened my eyes to a world of need like nothing I had ever seen before. People using the streets as bathrooms because of no other option. Sick children, hundreds of children "working" to try and feed themselves. Children without smiles, homes, education, food... Adults without jobs, with little hope, maimed from war or disease, crippled and wrapped in rubber from an old tire to keep from tearing their skin as they drug their bodies in the streets. Smells of despair. Smells of extreme need... I had seen a world that I had been unable to imagine. But I saw even more...

I saw people with kind hearts, generous spirits, and a hope for something more. I saw children able to smile because they, if only for a day, felt like someone cared enough to take the time to be with them, to love them. I saw children worshipping and praising our Lord Jesus because of just a few days with me to spend time with them, to give them a few pieces of fresh fruit and a frosted cake of which most had never experienced. I saw hope in the faces of the people. I came home forever changed.

"We can not pretend we don't know..." the Bible is right. There are times that my heart has been so broken over the people I have fallen in love with in Ethiopia that I had wished I did not ever know. The burden is heavy to bear. To know that American sponsorship dollars have fallen off and kids I personally know and love have been cut back to bread and tea for 2 meals... it honestly is too much to handle. To know that the cost of living their is steadily increasing as unemployment and drought plague the people, brings me to tears. (These are the people willing to die rather than to eat a steal and eat a lose chicken that doesn't belong to them.) Though the burden is so heavy, I am so thankful for the truth I know. They say "knowledge equals power". And though I do not feel at all powerful, but actually quite small, I know that power to strike change because of this knowledge, is within me. The difference between those people and my family is simply the country we were born in. It is not our heart, our efforts, our hopes, or desires. It is plainly a matter of where we were born. How fortunate for me that I was born in America. But it also has become a big responsibility for me.

I am privileged. I know how unprivileged others are and I ache for their relief. God has placed a burden so big, that I am now held responsible to act on this burden. I feel completely and totally called to the cause. God knows all the answers on how and when. I am faithfully stepping out to allow Him to work. Things are not going as quickly as I had hoped. Things are not falling together as easily now as they were in the first. But I feel no less called to the cause. The people need some basics to get going and given those, they are intelligent and capable people that desire to achieve more for themselves, their families, and their nation. The street children need help to get a proper education, food, and a place to call home. The people don't desire hand outs, they desire solutions.

You Deserve It!!!

There was a time I would use the expression , "Good for you. You deserve it!" as a part of my every day language. It was usually received with a smile and "thank you" as the person would expound upon their "good thing" to come. It wasn't until one day when a friend of mine from church told me that her and her family were going to Hawaii for a long over due family vacation that I actually was called out on the comment. I have been thankful ever since and as I have grown as a person, I have come to delete the expression from my speech. Let me explain.

You see, this woman telling me of the trip to Hawaii is an incredible mother to special needs children. She is a busy woman involved in ministry, keeping her home, home schooling, mothering, etc and on top of all she does in life, she got very ill with a brain condition. She had a couple surgeries to provide relief and in her state of recovery, was looking forward to the trip. She deserved this trip, right?! "Enjoy yourself. You deserve it!" was my response and quick as lightening, her response back was, " I don't deserve any of it. I am just blessed to be able to go."

It took me back. No one had called themselves undeserving before and basically, that was what she had done.

I went home and remarked to my hubby how it still had me taken aback and how I found myself understanding where she was coming from, and even agreeing. What do we deserve in life? And what do those of lesser means deserve in their life, then?

You see, life isn't fair! I know all of us have known this personal truth to one extent or another for years, but let's reiterate the fact. LIFE ISN'T FAIR! And this woman, or I, or you, are no more deserving of trips, medical treatment, a vehicle, a big house, or and education than any other person. We all fall short in places in our lives. We all disappoint ourselves, each other, our God... we all make mistakes. And we all have a glimpse of goodness and love within us (after all, we are made in His image).

I know men that work 50 hours a week sweating in the hot sun for a living to care for their wife and children. They get paid very, very little and barely make the bills. That family will never experience the joys of a trip to Florida or drive a luxury car. That family will not be able to pay for their children's college education or their daughter's wedding. And yet they are likely more deserving of a family vacation that my husband and I are, if you base it on hours worked, blood, sweat and tears. They would "deserve" it, and my family would not.

Then on the other end are families that perhaps have come into great fortune and have no respect for it. They spend it on big trucks, gold jewelry, the best clothes, and traveling afar with no regard for even getting their bills paid on time- after all, they can afford the late fees and who needs a credit score when you can just pay cash? Most of us would say they don't deserve to travel or have those things.

So who deserves what? Obviously we don't get based on what we deserve. Because if we did, my mother would never have gotten cancer. She didn't deserve it. My daughter would never have had so much pain and loss in her past. She doesn't deserve it. My dear people of Ethiopia would not suffer in poverty because believe me, the only difference between them and you is the country you were born in. They don't deserve it. It is so easy for us to say " I/We/They don't deserve it" when it comes to the bad... But we feel justified to say that we "do deserve" all things good. I have been challenged to look at the community, country, and world and ask myself, "What do I really deserve?" and, "Is there another that really deserves it so much more?" And then lastly, " What am I gonna do about it?"

This is not to say that we can't have good things, and those that save for things shouldn't obtain the things they prepare for. None of that is what is being said. It is just simply a realization that I have had that you don't really "get what you deserve". And how can we balance compassion for those without as we continue to justify and pursue "more" in our own lives?

And lastly, since this is a blog about missions in Ethiopia, have you ever wondered if you were you but you were born in Ethiopia, how would your life be? Would you have even lived to the magic age of survival, which is 5? If you did, would you have had opportunity to get an education? And then what? What would you feel you deserved if you lived there?